raging-woodcock:

Girl look at that body,

Girl look at that body,

Girl look at that body,

We should probably call the police who knows how long it’s been in the river.

(via flamesofforever)


swag-master-2000:

when did sleeping become the most and least important thing in my life 

(via allthetired)


phan-you-not:

whoredinarygirl:

literally

[insert witty danisnotonfire pun]

phan-you-not:

whoredinarygirl:

literally

[insert witty danisnotonfire pun]

(via whyyoulittledalek)


girlgrowingsmall:

The interviewer is so brutally uncomfortable

image

(via i-learned-it-from-the-pizzaman)


lamelohan:

i hate having crushes as much as i love having crushes

(via sherlockedcumberbabe)




badassmccall:

if someone asks if youre wearing the same jeans as you wore yesterday and you are just say “have you ever heard of a washing machine” because they will think that you washed them but you are actually just assessing their knowledge of basic household appliances

(via lemopolis)


(via minuty)


narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

(via can-i-please-kiss-you-if-i)